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Family Stress

We talked in class about how different families react to trouble. There are four different scenarios that we discussed. First, some families experience issues and come out of it just as successful as they were before the trouble began. Second, other families experience issues and come out the other end not terrible, but not as good as they were before the issues began. Third, some families experience trouble and never end up recovering. Fourth, families can experience issues and come out the other side of it better than they were before.

Every family encounters stressful times. It’s not the event, but how we respond to the event that will determine the outcome for the family. We need to look at the crisis as an opportunity.

Family scholars have used the ABCX model to understand diverse family responses to stressful events. The “A” is the actual stressor event and the hardships it produces. The “B” is both the resources available and response to the event. The “C” is the family’s cognition. A, B, and C interact to produce X. “X” is the total experience. 

There have been several stressor events that took place within my family. One event was when my parents decided to sell our farm and move our family. This caused a lot of stress for everyone in my family in different ways. For many months before we found a house to move into, my dad would have to travel for his new job and be away for days at a time. While that might not seem difficult for many people, it was a major change in our family. We were used to my dad being around all day out on the farm. When we finally did move, one of my siblings was very upset. He wouldn’t go to school, he wouldn’t talk to my parents, and he even tried to run away several times. Because of that it caused a lot of stress in our home. While we look back at the move now, we see it as a good thing. But it took many years for us to see how it actually benefited us as a family.

A lot of our discussions in class was about the most severe family stressor, Death of a child. The death of a child in a family is very stressful. It changes the whole family dynamic. It really has an effect on every person in the family, and even people outside of the family. Death also leads to a lot of blame. When people express pain, they often feel compassion and empathy. However, when people express pain + blame, it leads to defensiveness.

In class we talked about when people encounter danger we think that they will either fight or flight. However not many people actually do. The majority of people when they think they are in danger freeze. Another topic that was talked about was depression. People get depressed when they think there is no escape from danger. We also talked about how stress is good for us. Stress is tension/pressure. Without stress we won’t become strong or move forward.

I found this week's topic interesting because stress is such a common thing in everyday life. It’s so important to understand that when in our family lives we experience stressor events, we can choose how it will affect us and our family relationships. We can’t always control everything, but we can control how we react.

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